Infinite Stupidity

I’m sitting on my front porch with a cigarette and a glass of wine, and I feel disconnected. Not too bad at the moment, but still slightly wrong somehow. I know that as soon as I leave my house, it’ll get worse.

I lost my cellphone today.

There’s something kind of gratifying about being able to get in touch with someone wherever you are. Knowing that it doesn’t matter if you’re at work, on the bus, doesn’t matter where, if someone has something important to tell you they can call you or flick you a badly written/spelt message.

I mean, it’s not as if it were a good cellphone. It’s a bit battered, totally cheap and outdated, but it kept me connected. That network is the key. It’s a way of never feeling lonely.

I guess I’m a little bit of an antisocial person. When I’m spending time with most people in meatspace, I feel a little out of sorts. I’d rather talk to someone via textual communication rather than face to face. Even the telephone doesn’t do it for me, because I’m a little underconfident flapping my gums at someone even when they aren’t in front of me.

Am I the only one who feels this way?